Today is a horrible day. It's pouring rain and I know why. I am an idiotic underachieving piece of trash. I knew that a max bid of $10 would not get it but I got cocky. I was hungry for a steal and I was confident this time. Why in the name of Steve Irwin did I not put in a bid of at least $25? I am on suicide watch right now.

I just lost an ebay auction on an inflatable version of my favorite cartoon advertising personality of all time. The Bud Ice Penguin. Sure, he was looked down upon by some. His cat calls of "doobie, doobie doo," convinced misguided ultra conservative types that he liked certain illegal substances. But these were idiotic and untrue assumptions.

The penguin was raw and he was here to let kids and adults alike know two things:
1. Penguins are cool.
2. If you're stupid enough to buy Bud Ice, he will freaking take it from you.

It's that silly penguin again.

My passion for penguins didn't stop there. As much as the movie Billy Madison sucked, at least it had a penguin. To this day, I still wish that I will see penguins when I am drunk.

I often draw penguins. Mostly to distract and confuse people. Back in my high school days, I drew penguins saying stupid things about my coworkers and posted them behind the counter of the store I worked at. The owner had to ban me from drawing them. He told me if I kept drawing them, I would be fired. I kept drawing them.

My abbreviated research suggests that two awesome sports entities use a penguin as their mascot. Youngstown State and the Pittsburgh Penguins. I don't know anything about Youngstown, Ohio, except it is a mafia town and that Maurice Clarett is from there. The only thing I know about the Pittsburgh Penguins is that Mario Lemieux owns them and they drafted that Crosby kid who is supposed to be the next Gretzky, but they're all from Canada, so who cares.

None of this info on penguins takes away my stupidity. I expected to get that inflatable penguin for $10. Damn I'm stupid.