Note: This column was written on Christmas day, but due to internet restraints it was pubished three days later.
FRANKLIN, La. — I never realized how unentertaining life is without sports, but I did catch myself becoming deeply involved in the Christmas episode of “Dora the Explorer” today.

For almost the past week I have not been able to catch a full Sportscenter, watch a meaningless bowl game or even glance across the sports section of a newspaper. I have no idea what is going on in the world right now and it is really starting to irritate me. As an American, I have a need for instant gratification and the recent lack of entertainment is more annoying than staring at Stuart Scott’s eye for two hours. Now, if I could shove a few needles in that thing; that would be entertainment. There’s no telling what would squirt out of it.

I’ve been spending time with the family in south Louisiana for the past few days. And when you find yourself wrestling for the remote with a three-year-old girl and a host of eight-and-under boys, you’re not likely to win. But the children weren’t biggest obstacle I faced for a few moments of ESPN; no, the most daunting opponent I’ve faced since gracing Acadiana with my presence is none other than my older sister, Kristi. She has always seemed to dominate our family’s decision making; everyone knows not to question her, because if you do, there will be hell to pay(even though she’s not always right, like she might believe). Needless to say, this meant quite a few heated arguments and scraps throughout my childhood. I’m a bit stronger than her now and I outweigh her a ton, but she still scares the hell out of me.

I hope to wrestle the remote away from her sometime before I head back to Arkansas in a few days, but I doubt I’ll come out on top. Yelling “Mom, Kristi won’t let me have a turn watching the TV” doesn’t seem to work anymore now that she and I are 26 and 20, respectively. But she still taunts me the same way she did 15 years ago. She just sticks her tongue out and grins evilly.

I did watch a couple minutes of the Patriots and Seahawks on Saturday while everyone was getting ready to go to my aunt’s for the big Christmas Eve shindig. The Colts backup quarterback was in the game and the horseshoe helmets were down 14-3 when I had to leave. That’s probably a smart move considering the game is now meaningless and Peyton Manning is sharp enough to sit for 20 weeks and then throw for 400 yards. It’s the next day and I still don’t know how the game turned out.

It was really a glorious day I must have missed. There were almost as many NFL games played on Saturday as on a normal Sunday. The playoff picture probably shaped up a lot more than before the games, or maybe even hell took hold and the scenarios are now crazier than Courtney Love … when she’s not on drugs.

But I guess I won’t know for a few more days when make it back to my room. I’ll pick up all of the unread newspapers off of my front porch and read the headlines to make sure I didn’t miss anything important. Then I’ll lie on my bed, watching ESPN, no matter what is on. Bowling would be a treat right now.

They always say you don’t know what you have unless someone takes it away, and that’s what I’ve realized now. But for a few more days, I’ll be able to indulge my entertainment needs with “Sesame Street,” “Trading Spaces,” and of course “Dora the Explorer.”