The state of Arkansas has two kinds of residents: those who have more Dale Earnhardt stickers on the back of their rust, green and tan 1984 GMC Sonoma than actual teeth in their mouth, and those who have running water at home and actually choose to use it.

Yes, the very state this blog originates from has developed renowned reputation for housing confederate flag-waving rednecks and cutoff short-wearing trailer trash. And growing up in a town called Violet Hill, I saw where this reputation came from on a daily basis. But living in the college town of Conway for the last two years, I’ve become accustomed to the more civilized part of the state.

That is until Howie Mandell came to town.

The NBC show “Deal or No Deal” has brought its auditions to the Farris Center at UCA, and today, 24 hours before the doors are set to open, one could mistake the already long line of camouflaged and red No. 3 lawn chairs for a tailgate party before the next Klan meeting. The hillbillies are in full force on the UCA campus, and all of them know they’re the confederacy’s next millionaire.

I felt like I was back home when I saw a 250-pound woman wearing the clothes that would fit a woman half that size eating a can of potted opossum with her hands. One of the eager future millionaires must have gotten to the Farris Center really early, because the concrete blocks his station wagon was sitting on had already been pissed on by the mule tied up in Lu Hardin’s parking spot.

I guess all the Arkansas Tech fans couldn’t handle never being able to ride their donkeys down to Conway for a football game again, so they decided to try their luck with reality TV.